Jailhouse Payback featuring John Sievers - The Greatest Bond

from SpinTunes #13 - Round 1 by Spintunes

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Roger Moore does not usually get accolades for being the greatest Bond, as Sean Connery usually gets that recognition. However, this song "The Greatest Bond" argues that Roger Moore was actually the best James Bond. Also, he was in Cannonball Run, putting him ahead of Connery overall as an actor. Those of us who think Moore was the greatest James Bond naturally must include an argument about why Connery is actually NOT the best In this song, we attempt to do that. We also make note of the relatively unknown fact that Roger Moore was actually afraid of guns, but he put his phobia aside for the interests of the Bond franchise. Our song also references blaxploitation, which you can google. This song was incredibly fun to do. I expect there will be rumblings about our use of the original bond theme by Monty Norman, and whether or not that detracts from the originality of the song. But let's be honest, if you made song about Roger Moore and didn't include the bond theme, that would be musical malpractice of the highest order! If judges choose to hold that against us, they do so at their own risk. James Bond is an assassin, and although Moore is dead, Bond lives!

lyrics

Don't worry about what came before
Fake diamonds can't buy you friends
A mouth of gold, a penny earned
Is its own sick kind of sense

He was afraid of guns, but he knew just how to use one
Thunder ball was fun (that was Sean Connery)
But it was no Cannonball Run
Eyebrow cocked, another martini
Making love in the deepest of space

A star to cross as a young man,
he was known as the big knit
A (k)night at home, his gum explodes
Before you die, there is wit

He was afraid of guns, but he knew just how to use one
Thunder ball was fun (that was Sean Connery)
But it was no Cannonball Run
Eyebrow cocked, another martini
Making love in the deepest of space

Yes, there was blaxploitation
But he was the bond for my generation
he gave Duran Duran inspiration
"Shall we shag now, or shall we shag later baby? YEAH!"
"Wait, was that Austin Powers? Yeah that was Austin Powers"

He was afraid of guns, but he knew just how to use one
Thunder ball was fun (that was Sean Connery)
But it was no Cannonball Run
Eyebrow cocked, another martini
Making love in the deepest of space

credits

from SpinTunes #13 - Round 1, released July 10, 2017
Segment of 007 Theme written by Monty Norman

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Spintunes Union, South Carolina

Spintunes is a semi-annual songwriting contest. Every other week, the competitors receive a challenge and a week to meet it.

Each album on this site contains the responses to a single challenge.