THE NAME IS NEIL.
I don't usually sing
That's my man Stephen Stills' bag
We're trying a new thing
Gonna set you a scene
Enlighten new perspective
My POV while Scotty P
Was crossing off seven exes

"Launchpad McQuack" sounding better than it ever had
But is that the title? well it's not quite clear
Wasn't ready for a cutie laying on interrogation
Girl don't look at me
I'm just the guy who lives here

We all agree Scott's awesome
And his girlfriend Knives is too
So what if she's in high school
So what if he's twenty two

So uhhhh anyway it's best we don't dwell
SB rocks as a unit
Scott battles this pirate(?) fella well
Didn't quite catch his name, something something Patel?
Sent him to his demon hipster chicks
(You know, like in hell?)

I kind of lost track of some things until later
A chain slinging lesbian ninja and a movie star slash skater
That might have been out of order? Oh, Scott fought one at a castle!
When you date a girl with baggage guess you best prepare for hassle

Next thing I know Knives is all up on me
We're off to see TCAD (they're much better live)
Turns out a superpowered vegan evil ex was thumping bass
(This song kinda sounds like that band that did "Help I'm Alive"?)

Anyway we're backstage, things are tense to say the least
Cracking jokesa about Toronto too cool to care
Regarding Scott and Envy, Knives: sudden epiphany
When she voices it this dick punches the highlights out of her hair

This will not stand.
This aggression against friends of our band.
Long story short because my 3 minute limit is tickin'
Scott beat Todd because... Todd ate chicken.

OKay -- after that: Amp V Amp
versus those techno twin pricks
SB Final Fantasy'd a green gorilla
And it was totally sick
(IT WAS TOTALLY SICK.)
G Man Graves said we totally spanked it
Offered us a contract, Scott was being a wet blanket
I'm a quiet dude but you'd best not forget this
An unseen legend like Zelda I slid in just like Tetris


Now I'm on the bass and we're playing the grand opening of Chaos
I guess Scott showed up and then died and used an extra live to save us
He went all Kill Bill on the dance floor
With the power of love and self respect
And also a sword. The sword was helpful
I've somehow not mentioned Ramona by name yet?
She's the girl with colorful hair and dull taste in one woman and men
But anyway Scott defeated each one of them
And it all worked out pretty well for everyone. The end!

...well it could have worked out better for us in the band that Scott abandoned.
We lost our record deal on account of our friend murdering our A&R guy in a crowded bar.
No consequence for him for that, really, in fact he Got The Proverbial Girl. Grats, dude.

GG.

Eh, it's cool.