Hello, I’m Romeo
I’m the star of the show even in my minor role
I’m Freddie Mercury’s favorite cat
I’m gonna tell you exactly where I am at
I have a big beef with the Hollywood cats
Yet more Hollywood dishonesty
What have they done to Freddie’s teeth
Got me sitting on the edge of my cat tree

Freddie walks up to me with his great big smile
Those big Hollywood teeth you could see for a mile
I wish I could fall out of this movie
I’d land on all four feet and reality
They make his front teeth look bigger
Than the ivories on a grand piano
I’d give Hollywood the middle finger
But I ain’t gangsta like The Sopranos

I’m the cat you see in Bohemian Rhapsody
I try real hard but I cannot find peace
Every time Freddie Mercury is lookin’ at me
All I can see is humongous teeth
I know Freddie has a large dental presence
But he sings like a champion, explodes with effervescence
Reality won’t compare to this fictional portrayal
This is nothing less than a Hollywood betrayal

My feline friends all agree
Hollywood went crazy with Freddie’s huge teeth
They big as the sign on Hollywood Hills
Kinda surprised they didn’t add a huge grill
Sittin’ here watching my man on TV
He’s out on stage with my main band Queen
Why does Freddie’s teeth look so big and fat
I’m just the cat but what’s up with that?

Freddie’s life was not always a pleasure cruise
But it wasn’t him that committed a crime
It was those Hollywood cats
They should be doing time
Huge enough to be a drive-in movie screen
Freddie Mercury’s teeth steal every single scene
I’m stuck in this movie with Freddie’s huge teeth
They won’t let me out, I wanna scream and shout

I’m the cat you see in Bohemian Rhapsody
I try real hard but I cannot find peace
Every time Freddie Mercury is lookin’ at me
All I can see is humongous teeth
I know Freddie has a large dental presence
But he sings like a champion, explodes with effervescence
Reality won’t compare to this fictional portrayal
This is nothing less than a Hollywood betrayal

On the stage my rock queen is larger than life
Off stage he has some struggles, wants to make right
It is a big deal for him to make his peace
But not as big as his Hollywood teeth
It’s something I just can’t unsee
Freddie was robbed of his dignity
Just so Hollywood could
Huge-teeth him into infinity

I’m the cat you see in Bohemian Rhapsody
I try real hard but I cannot find peace
Every time Freddie Mercury is lookin’ at me
All I can see is humongous teeth
I know Freddie has a large dental presence
But he sings like a champion, explodes with effervescence
Reality won’t compare to this fictional portrayal
This is nothing less than a Hollywood betrayal