Name: Bald, Green, Boneless
Duration: P00H03M13S
Description: The work of fiction is the television show Futurama, and this song is told from the point of view of Lieutenant Kif Kroker.

Jon Porobil - Bald, Green, Boneless

from SpinTunes 17 Round 2 by Spintunes

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about

The work of fiction is the television show Futurama, and this song is told from the point of view of Lieutenant Kif Kroker.

lyrics

J. Alfred Prufrock’s going bald
But at least he has some hair
If my crew forgets me on some planet
Would anyone care?

Amy answering her telephone
My nervous breathing fills the call
She thinks of me as creepy
If she thinks of me at all

My captain brokering for peace
Means there will be war soon
He will lead the cavalry
A telegenic buffoon

And when he runs out of excuses
When the strategies go south
My pale green face on every camera
An idiot’s words in my mouth

But When I’m alone
I hear my voice replying
I put my hands on the helm
And I am flying
I can be the hero instead
I will bravely face the president’s head
Yes, it’s a blur
I can speak to women with grace
I can punch my stupid boss in the face
[Zapp Brannigan: Kif! Report to the captain’s quarters. And bring some clean sheets! I’ve discovered another mysterious stain.]
Ugh…. Yes sir.

J. Alfred Prufrock has no spine
But at least he has some bones

And when Amy finally speaks to me
There won’t be much to say
If all I am is Brannigan’s
Bald, green, and boneless valet

I’ll have to become something more than an idiot’s
Bald and green and boneless valet

credits

from SpinTunes 17 Round 2, released March 29, 2021
Voice of Zapp Brannigan - Harrison Porobil

license

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Spintunes Union, South Carolina

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Each album on this site contains the responses to a single challenge.