Sitting in a coffee shop Futzing on the internet When suddenly I saw a flash of light She appeared before my eyes In a svelte coat with gadgetry And said “Come with me— There’s no time!” She said “Greetings, sir— I am from The Future And a third world war you can help prevent. We have chosen you for your tech prowess and ability to follow directions from smart and pretty women" And she was right And she was It was the right place But it was the wrong time But temporal displacement could make you mine It was the right place But it was the wrong time But temporal displacement could make you mine She teleported us To the thirtieth century Asked “Can you help with this archaic technology?" Showed me an old Mac From summer 2015 So I DDrescued for file recovery She said “Wow, you’re good. Shame have to send you back." It was the right place But it was the wrong time But temporal displacement could make you mine It was the right place But it was the wrong time But temporal displacement could make you mine I said, "I have a dull ache in my chest" She said, “That’s a time-travel side-effect” But I knew better: It was love [solo] In the 21st century She returned in seconds to update me We prevented war— mission complete She said a few months had passed I noticed an engagement ring And she disappeared in a flash after a kiss on the cheek months for her minutes for me It was the right place But it was the wrong time But temporal displacement could make you mine It was the right place But it was the wrong time But temporal displacement could make you mine

It's been three hours since the rest stop When we picked up where we left off And the decals have all peeled off Getting beat up by the rain drops The odometer reads a sequence of threes I must be out of my head, or... Up to my knees in Highway Memories I live and breathe on good times such as these Our phones have no reception But who else would I be texting? We're all here and we're all packed in And the radio is blasting The blur of the trees does hypnotize me I must be out of my head, or... Up to my knees in Highway Memories I live and breathe on good times such as these Under the hood, it's nothing but good Runs like a dream, I'm... Up to my knees in Highway Memories I live and breathe on good times such as these

The crowd was sitting The stage fright was crippling The stage lights weren't dimming They felt like a thousand suns Out came a question And my thoughts arrested Held in detention I wanted to go home But home is where the beach is Soft sand to greet you No maps no teachers To tell us where to go Electricity humming Isn't she funny Through the tubes running To all homes everywhere Home is where the heat is No lines to lead us Look at all the people No knowing where to go Miss South Carolina learned how mean the world can get when you don't know

In diner outside Irving, where I stopped to rest a while Because your eyes play tricks on a moonless night in the cold & driving rain A young man pulled up in a Suburu and hurried his way inside He was a lawyer up from Washington and he said his name was Crane So I said, "Where you headed son, to go round on a night like this?" He said, "I only stopped in here to refill on caffiene I just wrapped up a fat lawsuit, I've been in court these last 3 weeks Now I'm headed home to TarryTown to see my wife, Katrine." I said, "Now son you'd best stay in and wait another day Cuz there's a phantom trucker who roams roads on the moonless nights." He said, "I'm a man of science, I've got no time for silly superstition And if I can make the Tarrytown bridge, then I know I'll be alright." You'd best stay in on a night like this, In the demon rig's domain He's cruising all the roads around Looking for another soul to claim He'll chase you down the road to hell Spewing smoke and flame So don't go out on a moonless night In the demon rig's domain. The next day county police pulled his car from TarryTown creek His fists still gripped the wheel so tight, his face locked in a rictus grin The cause was unexplainable, there were skid marks for just one car The locals all shook their heads and knew, the Demon Rig had struck again. You'd best stay in on a night like this, In the demon rig's domain He's cruising all the roads around Looking for another soul to claim He'll chase you down the road to hell Spewing smoke and flame So don't go out on a moonless night In the demon rig's domain. Well, you'll find your life insurance policy won't cover acts of God When you to go to try to file your claim But you may call it an accident if there's no witness around and no one living knows where to cast the blame Now Kate and I live a quiet life in Sleepy Hollow town But I may wear a haunted look, because I bear the mark of Cain Under a tarp in the barn out back if you'd look out there you'd find My old Peterbilt parked up there, painted up in smoke and flame. You'd best stay in on a night like this, In the demon rig's domain He's cruising all the roads around Looking for another soul to claim He'll chase you down the road to hell Spewing smoke and flame So don't go out on a moonless night In the demon rig's domain. credits

Remember I asked you back in the day If you'd always be as good to me as you were then? Now that we've made it fading to grey I'm going to have to ask you the question again We feel as young as the day we met We may be getting older but we're not dead yet So now I'm sixty-four I've got a question for you Are you going to love me when I'm a hundred and two? The sweater you made me - it's not very good I've put it with the other ones under the bed So let's not do what grandparents should But do whatever the hell we want to instead We feel as young as the day we met We may be getting older but we're not dead yet So now I'm sixty-four I've got a question for you Are you going to love me when I'm a hundred and two? We haven't got much of a pension to spend When you spread it over fifty-eight years But Dave and Vera could lend us a hand And Chuck could probably stretch to a couple of beers So if you can handle living with me I'm happy hanging on to such a wonderful wife But tell me the truth now - what will it be? Do you want a centenarian man in your life? We feel as young as the day we met We may be getting older but we're not dead yet So now I'm sixty-four I've got a question for you Are you going to love me when I'm a hundred and two? credits

Lemme tell you the story of a tiny man Fightin’ crime the best he can Good old Hank Pym was a scientist Doin’ research and checkin’ stuff off his list He cooked up a powerful new gas And when the smoke and noise had passed He woke up shrunken on the floor He knew he was now something more He was the Ant-man, he’s the incredible Ant-man He shrinks to microscopic size Can’t fight much crime, Lord knows he tries He’s not strong like the Hulk or Superman But he’s got lots of tiny friends The ants upon whom he depends Built a helmet to communicate With his six-legged pals so he won’t be late In kickin’ butt and fighting crime All powered by his Pym Enzyme Some Egghead tried to take him down But Henry took out that dumb clown Then he met a girl who stung his heart She crawled under his skin from the start He is the Giant-man, he’s the extraordinary Giant-man He grows to such amazing heights But still looks goofy in his tights He’s not cool like Dr. Strange or Iron Man Sometimes when he cannot hack it He’ll turn into a YellowJacket Ant-man and the Wasp, they’re quite a team But Henry lacked a certain self-esteem He tried to grow, to steal the show A Goliath among men, you know But when he had a larger figure It wasn’t just his head that got bigger His ego grew to mammoth size And we all know that’s none too wise He's Giant Man - Overcompensating Giant Man He grows to Megolithic size Crackin’ the bad guys with his thighs. He's not funny like Howard the Duck or Forbush Man His brain is losin' all compunction Right from wrong just will not function Built a robot who was really bad Just so he could be a Dad His Avenger Pals are all so cross because his moral compass' lost He’s dicked around for 40 years And cause his pals nothing but tears Just hang it up –it’s been too long You’ve even got a lousy theme song He is the Ant Man - He's The Pathetic Ant Man Hey, pal, you should just get a life What superhero beats his wife? He's not psychotic like Elektra or Wolverine But he’s still got his tiny friends The ants upon whom he depends Ant Man - He's just Pathetic Ant Man

We pillage and plunder and cause such upheaval When gathering potions and food from those evil Berzerkers and wizards and skeleton shambles That walk with a grunt and avoid all gambles But The Elf Shot the Food The Elf Shot the Food The Elf Shot the Food Someone shot the food The Elf Shot the Food The Elf Shot the Food The Elf Shot the Food Someone shot the food Any why the hell can't we find any exit The monsters all crowd in, and that only makes it That much a bother to get through the level And drop down the hole as we all start to revel But The Elf Shot the Food The Elf Shot the Food Someone shot the food The Elf Shot the Food The Elf Shot the Food The Elf Shot the Food Someone shot the food Remember - don't shoot food We pillage and plunder and cause such upheaval When gathering potions and food from those evil Berzerkers and wizards and skeleton shambles That walk with a grunt and avoid all gambles But The Elf Shot the Food The Elf Shot the Food The Elf Shot the Food Someone shot the food The Elf Shot the Food The Elf Shot the Food Someone shot the food Valkyrie - your life force is running out…

Bruce and Chum were prob’ly cruising the Buxton mile Then there’s me just playing tag-along with my parents to the Island, Feeling like a plastic bag. Then I saw you and your moves like Jagger. I literally peed right through my skin. And then we’re floating fin to fin. I about died when you said, Meet me at the all-you-can-eat buffet We’ll share a bite and fill a night that’s melting into day You make me feel like I can call myself a shark At the Amity Island Land Park and All-You-Can-Eat Buffet Oh the frenzied feast devoured at that first meal. The variety of treats, especially the one that I called “longseal”, With its cover to unwrap. One by one picked off the whitecaps. Savory red sauce pretty much everywhere. And romance was in the air, Whatever that is. Meet me at the all-you-can-eat buffet We’ll share a bite and fill a night that’s melting into day You make me feel like I can call myself a shark At the Amity Island Land Park and All-You-Can-Eat Buffet You and I were so insane, right up to the hurricane. A crush of fish, a cloud of bream, Served up a dish of scattered dreams. No star to guide a way to find you. So I’m back again. I do this every year. When I scan the crowd, and ask aloud if anybody saw you here And so it goes. This message in a bottlenose Is just a final filed appeal to fate. Now all I can do is wait For the day when you will Meet me at the all-you-can-eat buffet We’ll share a bite and fill a night that’s melting into day You make me feel like I can call myself a shark At the Amity Island Land Park and All-You-Can-Eat Buffet

I’m a little choked up and I’m not sure where to start But I need to say this from the bottom of my heart With a past as bad as we’ve had it came as a surprise Your thoughtfulness has tears of joy streaming from my eyes I guess that i just really want to say Thank you for dying Now I don’t have to kill you Thank you for dying Now I don’t have to kill you You might think I’d be bitter, after all that I had planned But I got my deposit back on that old cargo van Besides, the drive would have been horribly inconvenient Four whole states away to where the sentencing is lenient I needed this wood chipper anyway Thank you for dying Now I don’t have to kill you Thank you for dying Now I don’t have to kill you Thank you for dying

When I was stupid, dumb and young They told me not to jump the gun I'd work the wheel and pop the bung But things never seemed to get done I've spent my life just counting sheep But I've always been fast asleep It never gets here, it's always past The present comes and goes so fast I'm so tired of counting down Waiting around just gives me a frown 6,5,4,3,2 and 1 Now I won't wait to have my fun They say it's just around the corner But if I wait I'll be a mourner They all said I should wait my turn But if I do I'll end up in an urn I'm so tired of counting down My head's underwater and I just might drown 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 and 6 I'm going to grab my share of kicks They always try to tell you what to do Stand in line, filling up the queue But I've got to find someone new And that is why I need you I'm so tired of counting down Let's light the fuse and pain the town 2, 4, 6, 8, 9 and 10 We'll make our way and start again credits

You thought you could get rid of me So god-damned easily, I just can't get it through your head. I'll walk this world forever, Bound by vengeance, bound by leather, My hate remains, although my body's dead. So live while you're alive, Say all your goodbyes, This is only my Reminder lullaby Just so you can dwell, 'Till I get back from hell. Go on and scream. This ain't no dream Or do you have to be reminded? This ain't no joke I don't blow smoke, Unless there's dynamite behind it. So be afraid, The plans are laid. Until I've made sure The favor's been repaid, I hope that you stay well, 'Till I get back from hell. So come, my dear, you've got everything to fear What does it take to make you see your fate's already clear? If you could hear what we were planning down here, That little smile you're wearing ear-to-ear will surely disappear. And so, My foe, Your time to go, Is closer than you understand. It's come to this; My nemesis. With his own blood upon his hands. Fight if you choose, But there's no use 'Cause I got nothing to lose, And I'll come back in newer shoes. And only time will tell, When I'll come back from hell. When I come back from hell.

Its the beginning of the end of the start of the middle of the primary phase of my secondary career I'm gonna make a new start and burn down all my bridges only one way to go - Up from here Bundy on at 8am And I sit on the scanner with by pants down around by knees And I'll email jpegs of my arse crack out to all my favourite fellow employees Because I don't need this place no more There are opportunities outside that door Its the beginning of the end of the start of the middle of the primary phase of my secondary career I'm gonna make a new start and burn down all my bridges only one way to go - Up from here Now it's time to steal stationary I unlock the cupboard and I fill my bag right up And then secretly I rub my penis 'round the drinking rim of the bosses coffee cup Cos this life is just not good enough for me There's something else that I would rather be Its the beginning of the end of the start of the middle of the primary phase of my secondary career I'm gonna make a new start and burn down all my bridges only one way to go - Up from here Up from here Up from here Up from here Well I don't need these 9 to 5 gigs (no day job, don't want a day job) I'm an internet rock star, can't you see? (he's a Rock God, a total Rock God) I'll make a million soon now that my tracks are played on Spotify at $0.0000000000000002c a play Hey! Its the beginning of the end of the start of the middle of the primary phase of my secondary career I'm gonna make a new start and burn down all my bridges only one way to go - Up from here Its the beginning of the end of the start of the middle of the primary phase of my secondary career I'm gonna make a new start and burn down all my bridges only one way to go - Up from here

I'd chew through this maze I'd eat till I puke If it leads your way I'd stand up to ghosts If only to show I love you the most I'd gamble my life If it meant that I Could meet With you Blinky and Pinky and Inky and Clyde He's so stupid, but he gets me every time You and me And all that we see We're puppets in one big lie And those who play So recklessly brave They don't care if we live or

Mmmmm mmmmmmmm lai la la la lai Mmmmm mmmmmmmm lai la la la lai It feels good to be home But I've been sitting here too long The railway station calls my name Everybody thinks they know exactly how I'm feeling Is there still room for a one man band Who's destination clearly lies across the land I'm back on the road that's where I belong And this time I'm taking my love with me I'm bringing all my nicotine patches I ain't bringing any cigarettes or matches 'Cause I don't smoke anymore My guitar and magazines are all I need But nowhere as much as the girl I love Is there still room for a one man band Who's destination clearly lies across the land I'm back on the road that's where I belong And this time I'm taking my love with me I'm singing songs in places see all the strangers faces I'm sorry that I've been away so long And the night always ends too fast I look forward to the next time Now I'm gonna make this journey last Is there still room for a one man band Who's destination clearly lies across the land I'm back on the road that's where I belong And this time I'm taking my love with me And this time I'm taking my love with me

I owe you my life, my love All I am and all I own is yours When we met long years ago, you Welcomed me with love and laughter My incandescent love I owe you Another year's improvisation I'll melt with willing obligation I offer you my lullabye I owe you my life, my love All I am and all I own is yours Adieu, my lady love I owe you my life

I have no weapons But my own 2 legs Fire it wants to burn me I won't let it hurt me I feel so far away Jungle's such a lonely place Crocodile at my feet Quicksand to consume me I'm swinging on a vine Gold & Silver - Oh it's mine I'm swinging on a vine You are on my mind Rattlesnake's rattle and Scorpion Tails Obstacles that are along the trail Rattlesnake's rattle and Scorpion Tails Obstacles that are along the trail Everything's gonna be alright Everything's gonna be alright Everything's gonna be alright Everything's gonna be alright

when you when you call do you feel nothing nothing at all it's like a sickness that won't go away what can I do to keep it at bay I'm like a monster better lock me away cause if I see you who knows what I will say yeah I can hear I can hear you call but you see through me you see nothing at all It's been weeks now since I've seen your face And there's this feeling in my stomach that's telling me you can't be replaced So I'll just keep it all to myself are you feelin how I'm feelin or are you with somebody else I'm like a monster better lock me away cause if I see you who knows what I will say yeah I can hear I can hear you call but you see through me you see nothing at all Nothing at all can change what I have done Now I'm just looking for the cure to stop my body feeling numb yeah when you when you don't call I feel nothing nothing at all I don't see you when I'm awake And still I wonder what would it take I'm not a monster please don't lock me away if I try hard enough I know I can change and I can hear it I can hear the call no I don't wanna no I don't wanna fall credits

Stare through my hands again Blue page to tempt me to tell … my secret But you seem to guess it so well Yes, no one sees the whole It spins so close to home, truth hits down to the bone But you get it so totally; you alone seem to see All the way through me Are you my friend or my enemy And I don't let anyone, or anything see me Invisible Girl / invisible me The secrets inside me burn so deeper than lightning The sneaking the fighting … the hiding And you think that just because you see Thru walls that you can see Invisibly My disguise slipped last night Those x-ray eyes … of yours Saw me fade right through the exit door Of course I'm running away Yeah you run away too you know Sometimes I see your eyes Sometimes we'll go away together to fight crime And if we could fly it might stop us from falling And if I could let somebody see the Invisible Girl / Invisible me The secrets inside me have always had only one key And I guess that you want to unlock me And You see me walk alone on a tightrope And I will not wear my heart out on my sleeve You say what you think Do you think we'd make a good team? Invisible Girl / invisible me Could you call the shots Could I be your robin or would you be One nation indivisible under me? Could we be so lucky?

[tv noises] [she] This movie’s not very good. I’m bored. [he] Well, it IS date night. [turns off tv] What would you like to do? [she] I don’t know, Let’s do something different. [he] hmmm... different... Baby I know you like to have a good time... Well, the phone is off the hook and the kids are at your mom’s May I suggest a little game where we can have a few kicks A little more entertaining than a night of Netflix? [she] go on... It’s a little bit of whip, a little bit of chain It’s a little bit of pleasure, a little bit of pain It’s a little bit of you and a little bit of me Baby, let’s go to bed sore and wake up happy. [dialogue over the groove] [she] I was kind of hoping you’d go there [he] oh, really? [she] In fact, I got us a little present, just in case. [he] oh, REAlly? [she] oh, yeaaaaah…. *snikt!* [she takes the reigns] To keep you in your place ‘cause I like it rough Let me introduce you to my brand-new cuffs They’re covered in fur so they don’t chafe And you can pick a word to keep you safe It’s a little bit of whip, a little bit of chain It’s a little bit of pleasure, a little bit of pain It’s a little bit of you and a little bit of me I want to go to bed sore and wake up happy. [he] Babe, they say if nothing’s ventured, nothing’s gained [she] You know I like my lovers with some spirit I can tame [he] I have got the fire stoked bright to light your brand [she] So everybody knows that you’re my man [both] It’s a little bit of whip, a little bit of chain It’s a little bit of pleasure, a little bit of pain [he] It’s a little bit of you [she] and a little bit of me [both] Let’s go to bed sore and wake up…. happy. [laughter]

Unpack my bags... I'm coming home And home is where my heart is And I've been gone so long It's strange that I can't fly Strange that I can't fly But now I see, what I could never see When I flew in the sky Forever night, every day! I could not see the stars But now my nights are everything The nights will all be mine Till I'll no longer be Till I'll no longer be... ...the Rocket Man My final flight... came to your door Our home was left as always 'Cos I'd been gone so long And I had flown so high I had flown so high And now I see, what I could never see When I flew in the sky Forever night, but now those stars I see them in your eyes And now our nights are everything The nights are yours and mine And I'll no longer be And I'll no longer be ...the Rocket Man This timeless flight Is done and gone But you can give me time And give me peace... So I will be inside your arms The only place I long to be And I will be Where I can sleep The Earth will cradle me And I'll no longer be I'll no longer be...

In honor of SpinTunes Two . . . We’d like to present to you . . . A “not-so-very-long,” Completely worthless song About Lansing, Michigan! Lansing, Michigan’s The greatest place on earth! So why not come to Lansing And be part of all the mirth? We’re selling houses here For nearly half of what they’re worth In Lansing, Michigan! Don’t believe the news -- Our city’s not a dive. Our unemployment’s ten percent, But -- eh! -- we still survive! ‘Cause once GM is solvent, Our economy will thrive In Lansing, Michigan! It’s true -- for major sports teams We’re a little too far west. We can go watch the Lugnuts, But Detroit’s got all the rest. But even if we’re lacking, There’s a fact that brings us smiles -- We’re very proud to say There’s not a Wolverine for miles!! Lansing, Michigan Is where you oughtta be! So many bars to frequent And so many sights to see! And if you come to visit You could come and visit me!! In Lan... (Don’t be a prima donna!) ...sing . . . (You know you really wanna!) Michigan! (We don’t you come and visit me?) (It’s nowhere NEAR Ohio!!!)

Sleep tight, dreams will never hurt you Rest and night will soon be done Nightmares, no matter how they scare you They'll scatter in the morning sun But its not dreams I fear I'm afraid to even open my eyes A monster lurks here I'm sure When its dark it will arise Guardian, they say you're just a toy What you do it so much more than to bring me joy Guardian, you must be brave When I sleep its me you save Each night, knocking at my window When I look there's nothing there I fear, there's always something hiding You're here to protect me, Teddy Bear The monster creeps here I'm sure I know its waiting till I close my eyes Holding you I've nothing to fear When I sleep you will arise Guardian, you're more than just a toy Standing ever watchful over every girl and boy Guardian, I know its true I will always trust in you

He was bold like a first responder He was powerful and he was brave He feared no danger Which led him right down to his grave Don’t worry that he’s AFK He’s paying attention inside And as we charge into battle he cries… Leeroy Jenkins First on the scene Leeroy Jenkins Epic powers unseen Just don’t call him premature It’s not his fault that you died ‘cause don’t we all have a little Leeroy Jenkins inside Before you hate on Leeroy Tell me this has never happened to you It’s late at night with a pretty girl and you know just what to do You’re both feeling cozy You started feeling funny And with that look in her face she sighed. She said… Leeroy Jenkins First on the scene Leeroy Jenkins Epic powers unseen Just don’t call him premature It’s not his fault that you died ‘cause don’t we all have a little Leeroy Jenkins inside Being a hero ain’t easy It isn’t like it looks on TV You can’t just sit there like Gandalf Summon eagles whenever you need It takes meticulous planning It takes endless grinding Being a hero is boring Could it be Being a hero is dull? But if you’re ever in trouble Who would you rather have by your side? Abdul with his dorky spreadsheets Or a paladin unafraid to die? Just don’t call him premature It’s not his fault that you died ‘cause don’t we all have a little Leeroy Jenkins inside A little Leeroy Jenkins inside Leeroy Jenkins inside

We're broke, no clout, pockets all turned out Still there's a billion metal dollars in a box No cloth, no trees Just brass and manganese A billion metal dollars in a box You wonder How did we get into this position? Minting more won't keep our bills at bay men of numismatic disposition tried to put the coins in play It didn't pay So goodbye, see ya Sacajawea couldn't help you spend the dollars in the box And it's hard to know what anybody's thinking The best intentions rarely turn out well Stay with me and dance We'll sing of failed romance hope that we won't be the coins They couldn't sell We're broke, no clout, pockets all turned out Just like a billion metal dollars in a box

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I love you more than Star Wars I love you more than Ice Cream I love you more than Dinosaurs I love you more than Video Games I love you more than Infinity I love you more than Comic Books I love you more than Dancing I love you more than Jupiter I love you more than Sleeping I love you more than Infinity I love you more than Free Beer I love you more than The Universe I love you more than Outer Space I love you more than Everything I love you more than Infinity I love you more than Infinity

Lean into the wind Thought that the air Would carry the wreckage And cover the earth again All our best intentions Reduced to their dimmest Their grey and least No excuse for giving in Stop stalling and straighten up The future is not yet arranged Maybe in a minute or two it won't Feel so damn strange This is not done We are not lost This story is not complete Atfer all that we've won And all that it cost Now's not the time To accept defeat No surrender No retreat Just forward Stop thinking your sliding down The egde is further than you thought If you only saw the distance down You just might jump off This is not done We are not lost This story is not complete Atfer all that we've won And all that it cost Now's not the time To accept defeat No surrender No retreat No conditions, no concessions No defeat, no direction But forward Forward, forward Move forward, move forward This is not done We are not lost This story is not complete Atfer all that we've won And all that it cost Now's not the time To accept defeat The road is ahead And the lights are all on The fire grows high And the doubt is all gone There's nothing behind That we want or we need Deceptions and lies We no longer believe No surrender, no retreat No conditions, no concessions No defeat Just forward

You make my skin itch I can’t stand your breath across my cheek You make me weak You make me weak You make me weak You make my days dark I’m not sure I’ll see the sun again too mean a friend too mean a friend too mean a friend You’re so cold and unfeeling Blind to all the pain you are dealing You make my feet numb Then you steal my sense of solid ground You knock me down You knock me down You knock me down You make my lips crack and you even make them bleed sometimes too cruel a crime too cruel a crime too cruel a crime I can’t escape you, you’re everywhere I turn But you don’t notice me or care You’re so cold and unfeeling Blind to all the pain you are dealing You make my skin itch I can’t stand your breath across my cheek You make my days dark I’m not sure I’ll see the sun again You make my feet numb Then you steal my sense of solid ground You make my lips crack and you even make them bleed sometimes I can’t escape you, you’re everywhere I turn But you don’t notice me or care You’re so cold and unfeeling Blind to all the pain you are dealing You make my skin itch You make my days dark You make my feet numb You make my lips crack You make my skin itch You make my days dark You make my feet numb You make my lips crack

Tomorrow is coming, it's all I know for sure My mind is going, my life is a blur Each time I recognize it's always the first I don't remember if this time is my worst Tomorrow will be here, or I'll be out of time My features have shriveled, none of them are mine And I'm so scared of losing my mind My friends, my home my, child I've had to leave behind And I'm so scared of losing control My dignity, my self, my body, and my soul Tomorrow is coming, it's all I know for sure My mind is going, my life is a blur Each time I recognize it's always the first I can't remember if this time is my worst Tomorrow will be here, or I'll be out of time My features have shriveled, none of them are mine And I'm so scared of losing my mind My dignity, my home I've had to leave behind And I'm so scared of losing control... credits

I came home to Caroline every single day I'd bring her favorite brand of wine and flowers, too, of course But then, one day, that gal o' mine, she up and walked away Straight to her attorney, to file for divorce Well, I grew up a poor kid, and I can tell you now, I don't let people take my things, no way, no how She said that we were over, and I took that in stride But imagine my relief when I heard that she died She left the lawyer's office, tried to cross the street Didnt see the karma truck, now she's dead meat Oh, Caroline is dead, Caroline is dead I mean, yeah, it's sad she's laid out on the slab But on the bright side she bought it while we were still wed There won't be a divorce, wasitng cash on the courts And, inevitably, giving half to that whore I'm not gonna lie It brings a tear to my eye That I get to keep all my stuff I get to keep my money, my savings sure are safe I get to keep my marble bust of Matt from "Melrose Place" I get to keep the penthouse suite, I get to keep the Benz And now, since there's no pickin' sides, I'm keepin' all my friends I get to keep the labrador, I get to keep her cat But give me just a couple days and I'll send that one back Oh, Caroline is dead, Caroline is dead I'm sure it would suck getting hit by a truck With the whole tractor/trailer impaled thru your head But it's perfectly timed, and I'm happy to find That I'm single again and it won't cost a dime I'm not gonna lie It brings a tear to my eye That I get to keep all my stuff Maybe this isn't the way That a husband should handle a eulogy But right now, I really don't care Beause she tried to make a fool of me Maybe next time she'll be a little bit considerate And think about the gravity of her unchained rapacity And then she might become contrite and try to set her errors right But wait, no, I'm wrong 'cause she's dead You know, I really loved her, that's why we tied the knot But I guess she was never satisfied with what she got It seems she planned to pilfer my possessions and abscond But all she took was a truck to the face and beyond Yes, the Good Lord did smite her, and smiled on me So I don't have to fight her to keep the t.v. Oh, Caroline is dead, Caroline is dead It might seem unfair that I'm walkin' on air But she was gonna take my stuff, and now she's too dead! Now I'm free to procure all that I can afford And there's no greedy bitch in my way anymore And I'm not gonna lie It brings a tear to my eye That I get to keep all my stuff

Happy Valentine's Day from all your friends and neighbors To the couple living in apartment three. We still remember the day you moved in across the way. You were so cute, so fun, and so friendly. We've had a great time getting to know you. You know your barbeques all rate a solid ten. But there's something you should know, In the interest of full disclo...sure, 'Cause honestly's the way to treat a friend. We can hear you fucking. We thought you would want to know: We can hear you fucking. From above your room, and also from down below. You're consenting adults, you can do whatever you want to. But these walls are so thin, and we think you should think this through. You guys are pounding away for hours at a time, And I'm not saying that we're not kind of impressed, But it's awkward, while you're screwing, When our kids ask what you're doing. Some of us use it to describe where babies come from. And we know that everyone has these urges. We can tell your hormone levels are beyond words. And you're young and fancy free, And everyone needs a hobby, But you don't hear us screaming about Angry Birds. (Well, maybe Bob sometimes.) We can hear you fucking Even when you're home all alone. We can hear you fucking Even when you're having sex on the phone. We've tried dropping hints, but the message hasn't got through, That's why we're resorting to sending this card to you: We can hear you fucking.

I'm a first time caller long time listener I'm a first time lover long time drinker this was my last time trying my last time believing in you it's true it was a cold december evening in my pickup it was the last night with my first love you see I found a letter that had fallen from your coat it said "i love you", but it wasn't from me so i'm calling, mr. D.J., to ask you Is there a way to take away this pain Because i'm crying and drink in' and I'm going insane because the letter was signed my best friend's name so I'm a first time caller long time listener I'm a first time lover long time drinker this was my last time trying my last time believing in you it's true so you people listening on the A.M. radio Take this as a warning i hope that it makes sense Keep your lover close and don't look in her coat And never introduce her to your friends

Love Actually is a film I've seen a lot I know it isn't perfect but it somehow hits the spot If you're looking for a Christmas film it's either that, Die Hard or Elf But I would always choose Love Actually myself. Bilbo Baggins gets naked with a girl and they fake it but then they fall in love Rick Grimes stalks Keira Knightly, although rather politely, but she still loves the guy from 12 Years A Slave Love actually is a film I even own I know it's far from perfect but it gets me in the zone If you cannot find a copy you can borrow my blu-ray But don't think for a minute that I'm giving it away Hans Gruber flirts with his PA and upsets his lady: that's really not cool, Hans Skinny guy flys to Wisconsin where all the girls want him cos he's got a cute British accent Qui-Gon Jin cries cos his wife has died but then to his surprise he finds Claudia Schiffer by his side BIlly Bob Thornton kisses Hugh Grants tea lady and that makes him crazy and so he fires her but then changes his mind Love actually is a film I've seen a lot I know it isn't perfect but it somehow hits the spot If you're looking for a Christmas film it's either that, Die Hard or Elf But I would always choose Love Actually myself. credits

Your Golden hair down to your waist I glance at you and you look away You're the only girl who's ever caught my eye In the corner of the room I sit I was always scared out of my wits I can never find the words to say what's on my mind But I finally found a way to shake this off A way to show you just what you have lost I'm gonna burn myself into your mind Because im burning for you They said that you're out of my league That you are just too good for me They said that I could never make you mine But I can't wait to see you face as I watch you watch me immolate The love I have for you cant be denied. Just a little bit of has to soak the cloth an itty bitty spark will set things off im gonna burn myself into your mind You know Im' burning for you Well it's dangerous combination When loneliness and desperation and a little obsession crash And it's with grim determination That I hold this burning match everyone will know my name and how your brought my life to ashes Cause I'm burning for you

Another noontime, another key Another place I'm not supposed to be I check the number to confirm I've found the room He comes entangled and so do I There's no excuse so I don't even try I see him silhouetted by the window cross the room boom boom You wouldn't see him and understand He's not a Clooney or a Cary Grant He has nothing of the qualities you might assume Yet real life does not exist for me The only distance is from him to me I estimate it's seven steps across the room till Boom boom goes the dynamite My knees are trembling, my tongue is tied I'm not thinking with my conscious mind I have to hold the doorframe not to swoon Another noontime, another key Another place I'm not supposed to be And then he bends to kiss me where I put on my perfume Boom boom goes the dynamite I feel like Wile E. Coyote trying to catch the bird in every show Laying out the wire and the birdseed But we all know where the bomb will blow It isn't love, we're almost sure What we have is deep but not exactly pure We won't be topping any cake with a mini bride and groom And yet there's something when it's time to go Though neither he nor I would ever let it show that we leave our hearts in pieces scattered round the room Cause boom boom goes the dynamite Boom boom goes the dynamite Boom boom goes the dynamite

We’ve been best of friends since 1969 We’ve had our differences throughout the years Our relationship’s been in a slow decline Lately suspicion constantly interferes It started when I found a ticket to Dallas Dated November, 1963 And all the photos he took of the palace When he met Ayatollah Khomeini It was odd when he went dancin’ with Mary, Squeaky, and Manson Cos those hippy friends of his were not all there Grover kept sayin’ “I told ya” when he came back from Cambodia Praising Pol Pot’s work in the Red Khmers So although it’s way too hard to say goodbye I know my buddy, Bert, is not a good guy Now Prairie Dawn and Count keep pushin’ me to skip town Before I end up taking blame for his mess Like O.J. and the Ramseys lives were turned upside-down Because my oval-headed friend won’t confess He sent out packages that all seemed to tick While he rambled against technology He exclaimed, “Why can’t we all just collect paperclips?!” And he put the blame on Ted Kaczynski Befriended hooded guys on horses carrying nooses and torches Visited the night the first Gordon fled After the Embassy was bombed, he left Nairobi with Saddam And dropped off fireworks boxes in Enschede And although it’s way too hard to say goodbye I know my buddy, Bert, is not a good guy And there’s no reason to ask him to clarify I know my buddy, Bert, is not a good guy So, he sold Jim Jones the cyanide He used to spike the punch for Revolutionary Suicide Coincidence that this coincides In ‘82, when Bert gave Mr. Hooper Tylenol the day that he died It’s gotta be here in my imagination There’s no way he could be this evil... He got his pilot’s license in 2001 I got a call from him one Tuesday mornin’ He told me, “Say goodbye to Big Bird, Oscar, everyone” I thought his flight was comin’ home from Boston... ... ... ... So although it’s way too hard to say goodbye I know my buddy, Bert, is not a good guy No matter what I think, I’ll never testify I know my buddy, Bert, is not a good guy So although it’s way too hard to say goodbye I know my buddy, Bert, is not a good guy

You never call me when you're sober You say we're over Although I've missed you So even though it's just a sex thing When you're texting I can't resist you Well, I shouldn't settle for whatever I can get But you're like a candy cigarette You're so sweet, you make my mouth water You're so sweet, you make my tongue itch You're so sweet, you melt in the shower You're so sugar, you're so rich I eat whatever junk's in reach, things like gummy peach rings or even pork rinds I sent a message to you tonight I'm hoping you might be in the wrong mind And I should never stoop to begging for your scraps But you're like a creme-filled game of craps You're so sweet, you make my mouth water You're so sweet, you make my tongue itch You're so sweet, you melt in the shower You're so sugar, you're so rich You're so sweet, you make my mouth water You're so sweet, you make my tongue itch You're so sweet, you melt in the shower You're so sugar, you're so rich We know our bitter selves So let's not kid ourselves At least not any longer than it takes to binge and purge In this metaphor I'm not some kind of petit four That you can reach for anytime you can't resist the urge It's all self-loathing with a heaping side of scorn You're like cookie-dough-core porn You're so sweet, you make my mouth water You're so sweet, you make my tongue itch You're so sweet, you melt in the shower You're so sugar, you're so rich You're so sweet, you make my mouth water You're so sweet, you make my tongue itch You're so sweet, you melt in the shower You're so sugar, you're so rich You're so sweet, you make my mouth water You're so sweet, you make my tongue itch You're so sweet, you melt in the shower You're so sugar, you're so rich You're so sweet, you make my mouth water You're so sweet, you make my tongue itch You're so sweet, you melt in the shower You're so sugar, you're so rich

I'm not too fond of rainbows I hate poptarts as well Flying through space with a smile on my face But my life is a living hell I've got twenty-seven other original songs I would gladly sing instead But all they wanna hear is that nyan-nyan crap Again and again and again I am a cat, I am a cat But I am so much more than that I have ambition, I have pride I can has feelings just like you I am a cat, I am a cat But I am so much more than that You know memes but You don't know me at all Me at all Me-ow-owww meow meow meow They call me looooooong cat But that's wrong I'm not really aaaaaaaalll that That long. It's been blown way out of proportion Fabrication is all that's left Everyone has seen my length, But no one knows my depth. I am a cat, I am a cat But I am so much more than that I have ambition, I have pride I can has feelings just like you I am a cat, I am a cat But I am so much more than that You know memes but You don't know me at all Me at all Me-ow-owww meow meow meow I didn't write the music I'm not even playing the keys A stupid song and a stupider shirt Well I guess that's my legacy This is not who I am, can't even look at the camera I'm a star and I'm a fraud Shut my eyes through the pain, but at the end of the day There's no one there to play me off I am a cat, I am a cat But I am so much more than that Just cuz I'm feline doesn't mean I don't have Feelings just like you I am a cat, an internet cat, yeah And don't you ever forget that You know memes but you Don't know me You know memes but you Don't know me You know memes but you Don't know me-ow Meowmeow meow

I love the dead - strictly vocationally I love the dead - I bury them professionally So far none of them came back to complain I'm just a happy undertaker - I aim to please I'm making sure you'll get the perfect grave to rest in peace Sometimes I feel a little bit misunderstood Because death is my business - and business is good I love the dead - strictly vocationally I love the dead - I bury them professionally This funeral home is the place I call home And with the graveyard next door I never feel alone I love the dead - strictly vocationally I love the dead - I bury them professionally So far none of them came back to complain I don't mean to offend - I just really like my job I take care of the bodies before they start to rot I can give you silence - I can give you thunder Either way you'll end up six feet under I love the dead - strictly vocationally I love the dead - I bury them professionally I love the dead - strictly vocationally I love the dead - I bury them professionally This is the grave digger's delight

Yesterday, tomorrow Just abstract versions of now Why do they make a difference? When now's all we can experience anyhow? Give or take, or borrow There's a choice in how we share No matter where you think you're headed I choose to get you closer to getting there I hear your call You push my buttons I'll come runnin' Wait right there (I wanna get up for you) Wait right there (I wanna meet up with you) Wait right there (I wanna get up for you) Wait right there (I'll make it up to you) You look at me, so impatient I could never take your stares Won't let you down unless you ask me to 'Til then I'm yours to direct me anywheres I hear your call You push my buttons I'll come runnin' Wait right there (I wanna get up for you) Wait right there (I wanna meet up with you) Wait right there (I wanna get up for you) Wait right there (I'll make it up to you)

Never saw her coming ’til it was too late couldn’t slow down, had to get away Take a left, take a left, take a left ‘cause we can’t make it right blood on the wheels and a scream in the night Accelerating past the fear still see her in the rearview mirror Still see her on the roadside body broke and twisted, hitching a ride hit the gas, hit the gas, hit the gas ‘cause we can’t hit the brakes drive faster in the night to escape our mistakes Accelerating past the fear still see her in the rearview mirror don’t look back don’t look back don’t look back hey mister, can I get a ride don’t look back don’t look back don’t look back hey mister, can I get a ride don’t look back don’t look back don’t look back hey mister, can I get a ride don’t look back don’t look back don’t look back hey mister, can I get a ride hey mister, can I get a ride hey mister, can I get a ride

boy who you gunna run to when the shit hits the fan boy cant you see you’ve made a mistake she dont know how to behave you made a wrong move she don’t represent you i don’t wanna get political but that girl is a stereotypical bitch election of love she can’t love you like i can she don’t know how to love a man love a man love a man like you election of love she don’t get you like i do she don’t know how to move you move a man move a man like you boy you know youre lookin like a fool boy i’m boutta take you to school, i’m boutta teach you the truth you made a wrong move she don’t represent you i dont wanna get political but that girl you picked is a rather basic bitch election of love she can’t love you like i can she don’t know how to love a man love a man love a man like you election of love she don’t get you like i do she don’t know how to move you move a man move a man like you

I’m Q*bert babe, I’ll fall for you And you will fall for me, too Let’s meet at the arcade down by the mall I’ll be the one rockin’ colorful balls I’ve got five, mmm, five megahertz of pure Computer generated fantasy, girl Try me once, ooh yeah, let’s start I’ll take your quarters, then I’ll steal your heart Now, I do not run around like Pac Man I live on the edge of outer space My pyramid schemes bring you back again yeah Just jump right in to our special place … Yeah yeah yeah! At first you’re amused by my demise But soon You’ll be haunted and then - surprise! You relate to my terror as if its your own That’s when I own you like a dog owns a bone I’m Q*bert babe, you’ll fall for me Just like my nemesis - Coily So finish up that slice of pizza I’ll school you in the ways of Nietzsche Q*bert babe Not Shoe*bert babe I'm Q*bert babe Q*bert babe

I wanted to take a trip to the Arabian Peninsula That's the Middle East for those of you who aren't into the Geographical locations of Central Asia But then my travel agent then told me something major He said recently that there's a strange demand To take vacations to the resorts in a strange new land I thought the dude was jokin' and was playin', man And then he told me the place was called Plankistan I said, thank you man. And made my reservations Hoping this new land would exceed my expectations Of having a good time in a place that was distant Little did I know that I'd amazed by it's existence The moment I arrived the clock struck 12 And it looked like people were making a fool out themselves And that's when I realized this was a strange little place Cause everybody stopped just to lay on their face Everywhere I go Everybody's laying on their face fo' sho I see them planking (down in Plankistan) I see them planking (down in Plankistan) From resort hotel rooms All the way to the desert sand dunes I see them planking (down in Plankistan) I see them planking (down in Plankistan) It appeared to me everyone near to me Synchronized planks at the same time eerily Then somebody whispered "Hey, you! You seem dumb! Hurry and plank now before the police come!" But it was too late. These policemen were mad buff Three big dudes approaching me with handcuffs They arrested me quick once I put my hands up And took me to straight to their boss who they said ran stuff The boss asked if I knew the local laws I told him I didn't know and that I was appalled That everyone lays on the ground in that strange fashion He told me from now on to the take the same action Cause if I got caught again breakin' the law That they'd be breakin' my jaw and castratin' my balls So when they let me go and the clock struck three I had to stop walkin' 'round and get down on the street Later that night, I went a club To find a beautiful woman who would give me some love When 9PM rang, everyone planked really hard And I saw the sexiest girl planking on the bar We talked a bit and then I brought my hotel And it was around midnight and I thought "Oh well" We'll be in my room and everything will be private And nobody will see us not planking when the time hits I shoulda known better cause when she was on top And the clock struck 12 she decided to stop And plank on me. So I thought I should remind her That even though she stopped, that I was still inside her I got tired of her planking and pushed her off And she was looking lost and I got angered man I caught the next plane out this strangest land And never again did I visit Plankistan

End of days, just amazed at where the journey led Far from home, all alone with no way back again The tales they told, worn out and old, they are all emptied out The way ahead you chose instead, better without a doubt Just when you thought you'd seen it all Welcome to the something new You don't know just what you must have fallen into Standing on a ledge Right on the edge Of the only world you've ever known You're watching last light Fade out of sight Over an ocean yet unknown It wasn't you, but Balboa who first took this vista in But just the same you gave your name to this new reckoning A tiny tomb that rubber room where you spent all your time A kaleidoscope of familiar tropes hiding the sublime Just when you knew nothing at all Beckoned into fading blue You can't think much when paying such over-dues Standing on a ledge Right on the edge Of the only world you've ever known You're watching last light Fade out of sight Over an ocean yet unknown just when you see with clarity the light might fly from you the watcher of the skies can close his eyes for a few Standing on a ledge Right on the edge Of the only world you've ever known You're watching last light Fade out of sight Over an ocean yet unknown

There you stand, majestic, at the foot of the glen Maintaining your composure in the biting wind and rain Take a good long look around, you'll not be here again The lorry comes to pick you up tomorrow You're gonna be my burger You're gonna be my steak We'll slice and dice and barbecue you This evening by the lake You just look so damn tasty You great big hairy coo I wanna run right over there And lick you I'm told it will be humane and you'll surely feel no pain Your short time of discomfort will be my belly's gain There's not one bit of you will go to waste, I'm glad to say Your strong tanned hide will make a splendid jacket You're gonna be my burger You're gonna be my steak We'll slice and dice and barbecue you This evening by the lake You just look so damn tasty You great big hairy coo I wanna run right over there And lick you You're gonna be my burger You're gonna be my steak We'll slice and dice and barbecue you This evening by the lake You just look so damn tasty You great big hairy coo I wanna run right over there And lick you I wanna run right over there and lick you. (Moooooo)

I'd like to make a brief confession I have a problem with the drink The issue's not intoxication (Rather it's an) economical libation It isn't that I can't afford my vices I live in high society My friends wonder why I drink in private If they find out what I'm drinking They'll ask me what the hell I'm thinking Cheap Wine I don't have a taste for bourbon And I stay away from in gin I don't need a fancy Cabernet Or a twenty dollar Zin Drinking behind closed doors A penchant I can't ignore I might impress them with Armani suits Or when I flash my gold Movado And they may swoon over my Gucci shoes And I might drive a Mercedes But what I drink won't get the ladies Cheap wine I don't like to mix martinis I don't need to salt my rim Hold on to your Dom Perignon I'm drinking Andre on my own Drinking behind closed doors Just twist off the cap and pour Might not be sophisticated Might not show a pedigree Might not have a fancy label But I buy it by the case Because it tastes alright to me Cheap wine You might wonder why a man like me Has such a lousy palette But with all the flack that I receive I wish they didn't sell it Riuniti Charles Shaw Sutter Home And Franzia Rex Goliath Smoking Loon Got the Barefoot and the Boone's Carlo Rossi Yellowtail A jug of Gallo Never fails Call me crude, or unrefined Staying loyal to my cheap cheap wine

Hush, oh my darling with terrors in the night. Only mamma's singing can banish out the light. Death will surround you, softly like a sigh. In this monster's lullaby. Think of the horsemen bowling with their heads. Think of the zombies tucked beneath your bed. Think of the turtles clicking nails like knives. In this monster's lullaby. A tangle of string caught tight against your throat. Boiled in hot soup: will you sink or float? Monkeys smashing cribs, oh, hear the babies cry! In this monster's lullaby. Close your eyes. One- two- three. Sleep my monster. Baby. Echoing footsteps, but no one's ever there. A disembodied arm that drags you down the stair. Falling where no one can hear your last good-bye. In this monster's lullaby.

I used to be where you are now An ACME loser I used to think that was all there was Now I can see my talents are more suited for Playing for the other team You see, I just need to have a little So let’s play hard to get Follow my silhouette And catch me if you can Read the clues, see the signs You can search all space and time You won’t find where I am No you won't find where I am You won't find where I am When you look at me You must think “wow, what a freak” Well come and get me There’s nothing wrong with me I just like to make a splash You see I used to play for the good guys But, but being bad just feels so nice So show me your worst, hit me with your best shot C’mon Chief, is that all you got? So let’s play hard to get Follow my silhouette And catch me if you can Read the clues, and see the signs You can search all space and time You won’t find where I am Where I am Where I am No You can search all space and time Let’s play hard to get Yeah, catch me if you can I used to swing for the home team But truthfully it all just got so boring to me You think you got me beat? Hah, that’s sweet C’mon chief, come on and get me! Let’s play hard to get Follow my silhouette And catch me if you can Read the clues, and see the signs You can search all space and time You won’t find where I am You won’t find where I am No No No No No No No Read the clues, and see the signs You can search all space and time You won’t find where I am Yeah but it's lovely where I am Oh I love it where I am Yeah you wish you could be You wish you could be Where I am credits

Opened up the paper Couldn't believe what it said There won't be no more twinkies Have to eat donuts instead Talkin 'bout hard times These first world problems of mine Running late for work According to my gps clock My starbuck's was closed, I had to drive another block Talkin 'bout hard times These first world problems of mine The restaurants always serve me, too much too eat Then I have to toss the leftovrs at the end of the week Livin in the first world ain't no walk in the park But my mom always said, "Be happy where you are." I need a work out Off to the gym I go But the tv there is always tuned to the wrong show Talkin 'bout hard times These first world problems of mine Been a long day I'll have a glass when I get home All out of Pinot, I'm gonna have to drink merlot Talkin 'bout hard times These first world problems of mine

i pulled into town, first time around. i got the warmest of welcomes i'd found. singing and palm leaves and donkeys to ride. girl, you're a dangerous flirt. you tore my shirt, mentally broken - not physically hurt. let's not pretend you've been crucified... you don't know a thing about pain. i entered the room, stuck to my tune... i did my best to be gracious and true. guess you can't please everyone all the time. escape from your ignorant bliss, i'll tell you this - quit judging books by their covers 'cause, miss, you're only planting your own judas kiss. you don't know a thing about pain. these words are my cross, i'll pay the cost. hobble my legs and point me toward golgotha. i'll stumble forth and take on your disease. let's just bury this hatchet, by that knife in your back. like the spear in my side, i hope that coat burns you bad. you don't know a think about pain. turn this thing into a real party, find some truth - write some scars on your body. in the end, there're just two kinds of sinners. ask yourself...will you be invited to heavenly dinner, girl? may your father forgive you, for you don't know a thing about pain. it is finished...

Always never comes for me Only lapses, ebbs, and flows Barely lets me breathe I'm helpless and exposed I can't be for you All the things you need from me Never is not a thing I can be Always doesn't come for me I can't be your everything Still i don't want to set you free So afraid you want to read my mind Find everything indecent 'Cause I'm a waste 'til I'm wasted And find peace in pieces I can't be for me All the things i need to be Never's not a thing i can be Always doesn't come for me I can't be your everything But i don't want to set you free I can't be for you All the things you are to me Never's not a thing i can be Always doesn't come for me I can't be your everything Still i don't want to set you free No, i can't set you free credits

I now have a little house For me and my little spouse Where we've settled in quite peacefully We're living in Saskatchewan But before I go on Let me tell you how this came to be It all started with One red paperclip And a blogpost that I did Asking for someone to trade with me My aim was trading up To get some better stuff And to get a house eventually A fish pen for a doorknob face A Coleman stove for a generator These were the first trades on my list One red paperclip Got me started on this trip 'Till I finally traded up to this A bar sign and a keg of beer I traded for a snowmobile And then a trip to Yahk in a cargo van A recording contract for some rent Then almost by accident I trader for a super duper Afternoon with Alice Cooper A deal I made with Corbin Bernsen Really filled a hole With a snowglobe for a movie role I finally reached my goal Something's worth is hard to measure One man's trash is another man's treasure That's a point I think should not be missed One red paperclip Sent me on this crazy trip 'Till I finally traded up I could not have made it up 'Till I finally traded up to this credits

I've been elected a minister But I don't know what for First day: a trade dispute to manage An outbreak and the war Just yesterday I was some guy who fixed the maglev trains Now it's my face up on the Free-Vee And everyone complains The vote's done by videophone And your thoughts may not be your own We're all either droids or clones I may not make tomorrow but tonight I'll be alone Overthrown To vote you swipe to the left or to the right Depends on who you like the best The winner runs Titan Colony till they're replaced or put under arrest Choosing candidates at random may have closed a few loopholes But if you can't refuse the service then who's really in control? The vote's done by videophone And your thoughts may not be your own We're all either droids or clones I may not make tomorrow but tonight I'll be alone Overthrown The vote's done by videophone And your thoughts may not be your own We're all either droids or clones I may not make tomorrow but tonight I'll be alone Overthrown credits

I was a jet fighter I was a pilot lighter I was in college when I dropped my favorite one liner: Boom goes the dynamite Boom goes the dynamite Boom goes the dynamite Boom boom boom boom I was a bit brighter As a moonlighter I got jumbled like a...nail biter I played some street figher Then as a kart rider That's where I got my famous one liner, one liner Boom goes the dynamite Boom goes the dynamite Boom goes the dynamite Boom boom boom boom Boom goes the dynamite Boom goes the dynamite Boom goes the dynamite Boom boom boom boom boom boom Dreams can let you down Make you wanna drown Turn you upside down Dreams can let you down But I will stand my ground I will stand my ground Boom goes the dynamite Boom goes the dynamite Boom goes the dynamite Boom boom boom boom Boom goes the dynamite Boom goes the dynamite Boom goes the dynamite Boom boom boom boom boom boom credits

It all started with a red paperclip I took the journey of my life On a quest for another trade I want to trade with you Don't be shy, tell me what you've got I just might wanna make the drive Is it new or is it hand made? Make an offer I can't refuse Don't think I don't have the time To check out what you've got to trade me Right now I wanna make it mine This is my destiny And it's all I can do To make a trade with you Just one red paperclip Whatcha got to trade for it? What do you have to lose? A fish-shaped pen or a trip for two A years free rent in Arizona It all started with a paperclip And nothing else to do This is the story of my life Trading up for happiness It started out as just a joke But now I feel brand new Don't think I don't have the time To check out what you've got to trade me Right now I wanna make it mine This is my destiny And it's all I can do To make a trade with you Just one red paperclip Whatcha got to trade for it? What do you have to lose? What do you have to lose?

It's a capital morning. I'm especially proud to be alive. I didn't know they were watching me. Not that I'm fond of my privacy. They tried to sell me tickets to the show. One to which I simply didn't want to go. The vultures wanted me for food. I wouldn't fight so I stripped down into the nude. I made them think I was out of my mind but I feel find. Bell of the ball at the 7-11 Took my temperature with the back of her hand. Now I'm King Kong. I'm Lou Reed. Come with me I'll teach you how to make believe. Lesson 1, sing along. Lesson 2, there's nothing you could do wrong. Deep in the desert in a stolen Benz We're making lots of colorful friends. I can't believe you left your alibi behind. Here, you can use mine. Holding your hand, it's the 4th of July. Cotton candy blooms in a lapis lazuli sky. Take all your doubts, banish them today as usual I'm in the mood to just fly away. Give me your sea-shell necklace. Take off your shoes. What should we listen to, the Beatles or the blues? If you get lonely, as we both sill be during my harrowing but brief captivity Baby don't worry, Baby don't cry. Just sing all your favorite lullabies. Sing all our favorite lullabies.

I got no time for fear and I ain't got no time for guilt I am living in impenetrable walls I built myself I got a house, I got a car, got a beautiful wife I'm the only man I know who's lost at Russian roulette twice So go Let him help you out Take it by the balls It's what he's all about You can't go and ask for something Without even trying to put up a fight And keeping it in your sights You can be a different person Feeling pain, not feeling hurting, guys My canine friend was right I'm a little crazy but that sure don't get me low I've got every other person standing under my shadow I won't worry about the people thinking they can run my life They're the people that I've left behind, it serves those fuckers right So go He'll show you the way Take it by the balls Is what he's trying to say credits

Like an untrained soldier I was dropped in the middle of a battlefield All I had was the right kind of blood They took me in, they locked me down, they invaded my memory Ancestor secrets A lost generation’s secrets are powers that I keep I became a ghost So you won't bleed I became a ghost To keep you safe I'm a hero assassinate They destroy just for a piece of Eden, everlasting power Mothers, children in the world you will be devoured In this game of who kills who first Don’t have time to be a loser If I gotta shed some blood to save some Then I'll save some I will be a ghost So you won't bleed I will be a ghost To keep you safe I will be a ghost So you won't bleed I will take a chance Travel to the past To keep you safe I'm a hero assassinate I'm a hero assassinate I'm a hero assassinate I'm a hero I'm a hero assassinate I'm a hero

I’m six years old, still playing dress up, still crying when I get hurt My mind is like a whirlwind and my hands are smeared with dirt Already I have left behind the home I used to know I’m six years old, still young enough to like the feel of snow 4…3…2…1 Wake me up when it’s over When you’ve kicked the box out from under me Let me know when I’m older I don’t like seeing life fly away from me Wake me up when I’m 18 Will I know what I’m doing then? Can I keep the years from tumbling? I wish I were six again I’m ten years old, and once again, I’m moving father away From the friends I’ve known and the life I’ve grown, but still I guess it’s okay I still like play-pretending, but it’s different than before I’m still young enough to think that I’m not young anymore 4…3…2…1 Wake me up when it’s over When you’ve kicked the box out from under me Let me know when I’m older I don’t like seeing life fly away from me Wake me up when I’m 18 Will I know what I’m doing then? Can I keep the years from tumbling? I wish I were ten again I’m fourteen now, and well, I guess, I’m doing pretty well I don’t like taking showers, I think teenage boys are hell I’m desperate to get away from the life I’ve just begun I’m still young enough to think that being older must be fun 4…3…2…1 Wake me up when it’s over When you’ve kicked the box out from under me Let me know when I’m older I don’t like seeing life fly away from me Wake me up when I’m 18 Will I know what I’m doing then? Can I keep the years from tumbling? I’ll never be fourteen again I’ll never be sixteen again I’m never be eighteen again I’ll never be young again 4…3…2…1